So… I’ve been gone for a while. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to convert this blog into one with a “theme”, but I couldn’t for the life of me see how to make that happen. So I just created a *new* blog, http://thechronicallyillcatlady.wordpress.com. There’s nothing there right now, and I have to go to work soon so chances are there won’t be for at least the rest of the day, but I’m working on it. I can’t promise I’ll still post here, at least as much, but I’ll try. In the meantime, I hope everyone is well, and I hope you all will catch up with my adventures over at the new blog! Thanks!
Like expecting the super irritating anchor to be on CNN at 9am, and ending up watching Anderson Cooper instead. I heart Anderson Cooper. Gotta take pleasure in the small things, I guess.
I really can’t think of much else to say. I want to write a lot of things… Why I’m no longer with Isaac… What happened to Taffy… Why I have multiple kittens in my house… About my latest relationship… But all I can focus on right now is the intense heartburn I’m dealing with. I’m dizzy and weak and in so much pain that I can barely breathe, so nothing is coming out right. It’s certainly not coming out sounding very interesting. It all kind of sounds like an instruction manual. Do you want to spend your morning reading an instruction manual? Nah, probably not. So I’ll skip writing it.
Dealing with my new focus… There are plenty of “sick girl” diaries out there. Do I want to just write about my experiences? Do I want this to be somewhere where people can go for advice? Do I want people to give me advice? I have absolutely no idea. It seems I got to the general idea and gave up digging any further. Which is typical, I suppose. But really, is there anything special about me? Honestly, although I’d like to think so, probably not. My health issues are particular to me, but my experiences with those issues are shared by a shit ton of other people. Is that the point? Maybe.
Long story short, I don’t know what the effing point is. I guess I’ll just make it up as I go.
So… It’s been almost two years. I could make up a whole lot of excuses, say that I was super busy, life was so exciting, lots of changes, blah blah blah. But the honest truth of the matter is, my life doesn’t look all that much different today than it did back then. I still work at the same restaurant. I still live in the same apartment. I still have the same best friend. Yay stability, I suppose? There have been some changes of course, but that’s not what kept me away. I just lost focus. That’s all. I just couldn’t figure out where I wanted this blog to go. And because that’s what I usually do when I can’t figure out which path to take, I just chose to stay stuck. But not anymore…
Anyone who has kept up with me for any length of time knows about my health struggles. Those aren’t news, so I won’t use up any energy to discuss those here (I will later, probably… no promises). But I have come to some important revelations as of late which I think have led me in this direction, and so I’ll share those with you.
The first revelation wasn’t even really mine. And it wasn’t even a revelation, but without calling it that this whole thing wouldn’t work, so we’ll just ignore that, ok? I went to see my endocrinologist last week because I’d been feeling really “blah” lately and wanted to see if I could get some blood work done to see if I needed my thyroid meds adjusted. I’d also gained 25 pounds in the last few months and had a feeling that was due to the thyroid meds as well. So anyway, there I sit, in a super sexy gown and my leggings, listening to this insanely thin Indian man tell me that I looked so much better now and that I looked like I was dying before, and I should just keep going with whatever I was doing, but if I was going to insist that I needed to lose weight (which I wasn’t really, I was more worried about the lack of energy given the job that I do) he would put me back on one of the other pills I used to take but I could only take it once every other day. Oh, and I needed to take the other one that went along with it. And I probably needed a second pill for heartburn. And no matter how much I hated that one he put me on a month ago, I still needed to take that one. Oh, but the thyroid pill? He wanted to lower my dose. LOWER. What was I supposed to do, tell him no? So I told him I’d try it. And I died a little inside. So now I’m 34 years old, I take 17 pills a day, and I still have no energy. This leads to my second revelation…
Being sick sucks. Anyone who has ever had a minor cold can tell you that. Being sick every day for the rest of your life? There is a certain level of frustration that comes with that. No one gets it. Friends don’t get it. Family doesn’t get it. Even the doctors don’t get it. I actually had a doctor in the ER say to me, and I quote, “I have no idea what to do with you”. Once I thought I had someone in my life who would get it, but I was wrong. And honestly, that’s ok. I don’t want anyone to get it. I don’t want people to understand. To really understand this means you’d have to be going through it too, and I wouldn’t wish this type of hell on earth on anyone. But this leads to my third revelation…
I needed someone to talk to. Someone who would understand. I needed a way to deal with the loneliness, the guilt, the depression, the hatred of my own body, without feeling like I was burdening my friends and family. I needed someone to vent to who wouldn’t tell me to cheer up or to stop being such a Debbie Downer. I needed to write. Just write it all down and get it all out and maybe, just maybe, find someone out there who was also awake at 4am because there was just too much pain to sleep, who knew how I felt and could suggest a new show on Netflix to keep me occupied. And thus, this blog found it’s direction…
In the next few days I may have to come up with a new title for it, but for now everything will stay the same. And I’ll still try to tie everything in; work, Etsy, life, etc. But the main focus, and goal, of this blog will be dealing with my chronic pain and illnesses. That’s really what I need right now, so that’s what y’all get. Sorry if it seems self-serving at times, or even self-pitying, but I guess we’ll have to take the good with the bad. And I promise, there is good. Some days will be awesome. Some days I might not be able to get out of bed. Some days I might be feeling really miserable, and it’ll show. Some days I won’t want to talk about being sick at all. Some days I’ll want to show off my cats (yes, plural. Long story). I can’t guarantee it’ll all be rainbows and unicorns; in fact, I can guarantee that it will not be all rainbows and unicorns. Maybe some alpacas, but hardly any unicorns. So be prepared.
Anyway, I’m not going to write too much more right now. It’s getting late and I need to at least try to sleep (I’ve gotten an hour in the last two nights). But I hope everyone will stick with me. And to anyone new who is visiting me for the first time… Hi! Welcome, come on in, grab a cup of tea or coffee or whiskey or whatever, and relax. This is my safe place, and I’d love to share it with you.
I’m not sure if anyone can tell, but I re-did my sidebar today. I know it’s a small step and I have a LOT of work left to do, but it’s a start right?
So take a look and let me know what you think. I wanted to get rid of all the clutter, because if it was too much for even me to look at, I am positive it’d be too much for any of my readers. But I still wanted it to be pretty, and to fit in with my theme.
Does it fit? Is there still too much clutter? Are the things missing that you’d like to see? Is it too difficult to navigate? I need your input! Let me know what you think in the poll below, or by leaving a comment on this post.
I know I’ve been gone for a while. I promise I have lots of stories for you when the time comes.
Right now, however, I’m feeling the need to do a bit of sprucing up around here. So hopefully the next time you all stop by, this blog will have a new look and feel to it.
Don’t ask how long it’ll take me; I have no idea. But I’ll keep updating as I go, so no worries there. This does mean that my Tuesday Top Ten series is going to be pushed back at least another week, but I will be finishing up at least the social media portion of that.
So keep an eye out folks, it’s going to be exciting!
A few months back, I decided I was going to make myself some fabric covered badge reels. They weren’t going to be sold in my Etsy shop, but they’d be just something I made for myself (for a change). Maybe I’d make some for my coworkers if they wanted them, but it wasn’t going to be something I’d push.
And then Friday’s decided they were going to change our uniforms. Starting in mid-March we have to wear jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt, as opposed to our striped polo shirts and black pants. Makes me sad, because my butt doesn’t look nearly as good in jeans as it does in my current work pants, but whatever. I don’t get to make the rules.
We also can’t wear lanyards for our badges anymore. I’m not sure what the reasoning behind this is, but I guess it’s none of my business. Either way, we are all going to have to keep our badges in our pockets, our aprons, or on a badge reel. Which is where I come in, of course!
Obviously they don’t have the badge reel attached yet, but you get the idea. I took them with me to work last night, and the black and white chevron one has already been claimed. And they are really cute, so I think I’ll be working on a bunch for Made by Meg Too after all. Keep an eye out, because they should be up soon.
Anyway, that’s all from me tonight. I’ve gotta get some work done, and then try to figure out what the heck I’m going to wear with my shoes and/or new cowboy boots! 😛
I’ve been awake since 4:30am. Yes, you read that right. I’m not sure whether it’s because I took my Ambien too early (I didn’t think so, it was 10:30pm or so), or I took the Phentermine too late (I took it at 2pm, which is before my normal time), or some kind of weird new illness that I’ve decided to pick up along the way, but I was up way before I intended to be. I was going to work on a pair of yoga socks until I had to get ready to work, but I’ve been hurting a lot lately so that wouldn’t work. Then I started thinking about what today’s blog topic was going to be…
As usual, I had no idea. None. In general, I usually don’t have a clue what I’m going to write about until I actually sit down to write. But once I started thinking about it this morning, it actually came to me pretty easily.
I found a recipe on Facebook last night for muffins that taste like donuts. Wait a tick… Muffins, that taste like donuts????? How much better could it possibly get?? NONE, that’s the answer. And in looking at it a second time this morning, I realized that I actually had all the ingredients I needed. So there you have it; I’m going to bake some freaking muffins that taste like donuts, take pictures of them, and write a freaking blog about it! Genius! I am making one alteration though (more than one, but this is the most important) and calling them cupcakes, because I like cupcakes more than I like muffins. They’re cute. So here we go!
**First of all, this isn’t my recipe. You can find the picture of the recipe I used at the bottom of this post. I will write it all out for you up here though. And, pictures!!**You will need….
1 3/4 c all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/3 c vegetable or canola oil
3/4 c white granulated sugar
3/4 c milk
The first thing you are going to do is preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Then mix all the dry ingredients together, with the exception of the powdered milk if you’re using it because that will end up being a liquid. It looks like this:
Mix the liquids into the dry ingredients, making sure that you don’t over mix. They should be somewhere between smooth and lumpy, but if you’re hand-mixing them like I did you shouldn’t worry much about over mixing. It ends up looking like this:
The mixture was just the right amount for 12 cupcakes. My liners were a bit big, so you can see that they folded up a bit, but I’m not concerned about that. You can, of course, make these in mini muffin tins and you’ll end up with more. Plus, that would be super cute!!
Put your muffin tin in the oven and set your timer for 20 minutes. The recipe says to bake for 20-25 minutes, but for mine 20 minutes was perfect. While they are baking, mix up the topping. For that you will need:
1/2 c butter
1/4 c white granulated sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon
I put the mixture on top of my stove so it wouldn’t harden, and I let the cupcakes bake for the rest of the 20 minutes. Once the timer went off, I stuck a toothpick in the middle of a couple of the cupcakes to make sure they were fully baked (they were!), and then I flipped them out onto a paper towel. Dip each cupcake into your butter/sugar/cinnamon topping, and voila!! You’re all done!
I’ve eaten one of these, and they are SUPER delicious! And did you know that Monday is National Cupcake Day? I didn’t either, but I’m celebrating it a bit early anyway because I’ll be packing for Dallas all day Monday.
Anyway, here’s the recipe (from a post by Louise’s Country Closet):
If you make these let me know, I’d love to see how yours turn out! Happy Thursday all!